rambol lang
It is funny indeed that you get angry whenever I ask you something about the girl who was involved in some of your crazy deeds… I don’t really see the point of your madness when in fact it is okay for me to talk about it.. I want to know what made you create a connection with her… I want to know everything but you always refuse to give me the details…
And another thing that my neurons can’t initiate to process is that why on earth is it so hard for me to forget… maybe because the idea “I have the right to know the reason how I was hurt” decided to stay in my mind until I get some answers…
Just want some answers… that’s all… it will be enough for me to forget… is it that hard to answer them?
*you chose her after you chose me
*you told me there was never something fishy
But how on earth I still smell some fish even if you said the fishes are all dead…
For the record, let me take one last hit at this topic… just one last…
The girl involved…
These were the things you said about her:
Siya pinakaconservative sa dorm
*** as if… tell me when conservative’s meaning was change to someone who wears TUBE, BACKLESS and the sorts.
Buddy lang turing ko sa kanya
***and as if she treated you the same…if she really wanted a buddy, she could have chosen someone else without a gf… or why not your cousin who, you told me, had a crush on her. Why not your cousin who’s gf is her friend? Why not the guy who really liked her… why of all the people in your dorm she chose you and you returned the favor…
Mabait yun
***if that’s what you say.fine.but for me she’s not. if she really is your friend, why on earth did she tell you that “ I don’t trust you, I don’t love you because I wont allow you to have a buddy”? how on earth did she had the GUTS to say that I DON’T LOVE YOU? It broke my heart to hear that from someone who you consider a FRIEND… if she was trying to make some WISH ADVICE… how she wish it was good enough… she could have at least considered my feelings. It wass too obvious she’s disappointed you guys didn’t have much time to flirt. Yeah! That’s what I thought! A FLIRT!
I won’t play a saint here. I admit I had all the intention to curse her… I admit I somehow wished to be like her cause I thought you’re somehow attracted to her… the way you treated her... the way you guys texted even if I was around… even if she lives in the next room… even if you already have that distance close connection… you still managed to text right under my nose even if I was with you.
Pano mo nalaman na lageng andun bf niya? Lage mo bang nakikita silang magkasama? Pano ako… ni hindi man lang ako nakita… hindi man lang niya ako nakilala…
Whenever I am with you, you immediately answer your dorm mates’ texts. But when you’re with them, it takes you minutes to hours to reply mine… you said you guys don’t talk a lot… why not talk a lot when you’re with them? So I can have my own time with you when were together…
Xmas party
You remembered it,, you prepared for it… you’re excited about it.. Even if you don’t tell me I can see it.. but why do you always forget our monthsary?...
Maybe you’re bound to have them forever… maybe fate thus really wants you to be with your BUDDY… maybe that’s why fate made me decide to go out of the country…
I did everything… some can, will tell you’re not worth the love.. but as God still loves and forgives His unworthy creations.. and so I love and forgive you too…
I WANT TO LET GO OF THE HATRED…
I have received God… and he’ll stay with me… I STILL BELIEVE in OUR RELATIONSHIP…
I always will…
LORD GOD,
Here I am your sinful daughter… You know exactly what’s going on my mind right now… save me from this hatred… save me from this sin… I ask You oh Lord to forgive me… help me repent as I accept You in my life… I still believe in him… I love him with all my heart cause if ever I already don’t, I could have left his side… i thought I was seeing the right things that supposed to be seen only by you… and now I know that what I saw was wrong… I know he loves me… I know he broke the connection for me… I am going to stay with him Lord.. please.. I beg You to allow us stay for each other for the longest time… may Your plans happen to US…
Amen…
posted by cmon3t @ 6:43 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home